"Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket."

"Those who give hoping to be rewarded with honor are not giving, they are bargaining."

"To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately."

"He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing, but a supply of toothpicks."

"I love my fellow creatures -- I do all the good I can -- yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!"

"If the barricades went up in our streets and the poor became masters, I think the priests would escape, I fear the gentlemen would; but I believe the gutters would simply be running with the blood of philanthropists."

"Boredom is the legitimate kingdom of the philanthropic."

"All philanthropy... is only a savory fumigation burning at the mouth of a sewer. This incense offering makes the air more endurable to passers-by, but it does not hinder the infection in the sewer from spreading."

"Philanthropic people lose all sense of humanity. It is their distinguishing characteristic."

"Are there not thousands in the world who love their fellows even to the death, who feel the giant agony of the world, and more, like slaves to poor humanity, labor for mortal good?"

"The worst of charity is that the lives you are asked to preserve are not worth preserving."